Happy Pride Month!

June is here and so we’re celebrating Pride Month!

Both myself and my husband identify as bisexual. Both of us have been attracted to men & women since our teens and have had same sex relationships but only recently have we decided to be more public about it.

For me, I only began to identify as bisexual a few years ago. This fairly late realisation was partly because of the ignorance surrounding bisexuality, both my own and that of everyone around me. I didn’t know anyone who openly identified as bisexual. People spoke negatively about bisexual people – they were promiscuous, unable to commit and bound to be riddled with STDs. Sadly, these stereotypes still exist today. When I’ve told people I’m bisexual, they’ve been confused about how that can be possible when I’m married to a man. As if straight people entirely cease to be attracted to anyone of the opposite sex once they’re in a relationship.

I’m hoping that by being open about my sexuality, in a small way I can help to dispel these stereotypes.

I started writing this post a few days ago. Since I took a break from it, an appalling attack on a same sex couple in London has been in the news. The two women were attacked by a group of young men on a bus, who reportedly made homophobic and misogynistic taunts at them before physically attacking and robbing them. Since it was first reported, the women have bravely spoken out, condemning such attacks but also declaring that they will not hide their relationship in public in light of what has happened to them. I admire their bravery – it would be tempting to be cautious when we know there are those that would attack us for who we are. But I believe we must not. If we hide, progress will stall.

I was already determined to be more open about my sexuality, especially during this Pride month. Hearing horrific stories of what the LGBT+ community still endures has only strengthened my resolve to do so.

Attacks such as this one also serve as a reminder of why we have Pride celebrations. It is not just a party, it began as a protest against the lack of rights the LGBT+ community had. Progress has been made but there’s still a long way to go. There are still places in the world where homosexuality is a crime.

I think this also shows exactly why educating children about the diverse society they’re growing up in is essential.  It will mean that children who are themselves LGBT+ will not feel excluded or ashamed of who they are, making them more likely to grow up into happy, healthy adults – surely what we want for all children. It will also mean that children will not be ignorant of their LGBT+ peers, will be better able to understand each other and support each other. Ignorance breeds fear, mistrust and aggression. Education is the way to prevent it.

So I hope you will all join me in celebrating Pride this month. Let’s celebrate the progress we’ve made and consider how we can continue it. Let’s show our support for each other.

I wish you all a happy and safe Pride Month.

Oh and here’s a link for our special Pride podcast. Enjoy!

Introduction

A good starting sentence is hard to find. I tried various greetings and they all sounded a bit rubbish. So I’m just going to jump straight to explaining what we’re all doing here.

I live in the UK and, even if you don’t, you’ve probably noticed that politically we’ve become extremely divided. The biggest and to my mind worst thing about Brexit is that it has left us polarised. Remainers and Leavers. I’m solidly a Remainer. Partly because I don’t think the Leave campaign gave a very compelling idea of what Brexit would look like and partly because I like the idea of a united Europe. I believe in cooperation between nations being a very good idea and nationalism being a pretty bad idea.

What has really upset me about the referendum result is how it seems to have emboldened those who think nationalism is very, very good idea to be increasingly vocal about their opinions. To their minds, their side won and that clearly shows that everyone would like foreigners (or indeed anyone who looks like one) to return to their own countries (or whichever country they look like they might originate from).

Note: I do not think that all Leave voters are racist. I do think that it’s very likely that most, if not all racists voted to leave the EU. It’s a subtle difference, but important. Essentially, I’m not going to morally judge you just for voting Leave.

This, coupled with the current protests against children learning that being part of the LGBT+ community isn’t something to be ashamed of and rejected for, has led me to the conclusion that if people with these extremely negative views are getting louder about them then I should be louder about my contrasting views and about my identity, though I hope in a more positive way. Hence I’m writing a blog, not screeching at people on public transport. I expressed this idea to my husband, who agreed and has consequently jumped on board with this project. He’ll contribute thoughts and ideas to this blog and an accompanying podcast. 

What will this project be about? Well, a little bit of lots of things, all connected in the principle of making the world a healthier and happier place. Partly it’s about self reflection. In a world where strong opinions are becoming the norm, I want to make sure I’m not being dragged along in the current. I don’t want to live in a safe little bubble of my friends that agree that zero waste shops are a brilliant idea and voting UKIP isn’t, to put it mildly. It’s good to have your ideas challenged and indeed a good idea to regularly challenge them yourself. It’s also good to reflect on how you can improve yourself in all ways. ‘The unexamined life is not worth living’, as Socrates said. Or possibly Plato. In any case, a good phrase to live by, I believe.

It’ll be about being positive about the issues I (and my husband) believe strongly in. Environmentalism, LGBT+ issues, philosophy and politics will definitely all come up. Partly, this will be a lifestyle blog. I wish to be more open about who I am and which principles I wish to defend but from a distinctly positive viewpoint. I don’t want to rant on about all of the bad stuff going on in the world (trust me, I could easily fill pages that way). I want to talk about good things that are happening in the world instead. For example, rather than talking about how much we’ve fucked up our planet through uncontrolled industrialisation and pollution, I want to talk about the amazing movement of young people that are willing to work for a hopefully much brighter future and all of the innovations and improvements that can get us there.

So why now? The whole Brexit saga has been churning away for years now. Prejudice against the LGBT+ community has always been present and indeed more so in the past than today, at least in the UK. Scientists have been telling us that we need to protect the environment for decades. Well, we’ve decided to do this now because it feels like these issues have reached pivotal points and recently become polarised issues to an extreme. Following the EU elections and Theresa May’s resignation, our country is now hurtling towards a no-deal Brexit. Europe is increasingly divided between far-right nationalism and liberal environmentalism. The recent protests have shown that we’ve been complacent in assuming that our country has progressed in how accepting it is of LGBT+ people. There are still those that would like to deny our very existence and certainly prevent their children from actively being part of the community, preferring instead to have them shamefully hide their true selves and encourage them to reject those who do not fit their narrow and deluded world view. 

In the spirit of transparency and self reflection, my husband and I thought a brief statement about who we are would be a good starting point and a way of introducing ourselves. It also might save you a bit of time – I suspect after reading it some people might quickly realise that we’re not at all their cup of tea.

I am Amelia. I’m very nearly in my thirties. I am bisexual. I am a female, humanist, feminist, liberal hedonist. I studied literature and creative writing with a smattering of art history and philosophy at university. I am a big Harry Potter fan and love baking. 

My husband is Elliott. He’s in his mid-thirties. He is also bisexual. He is a male, humanist, feminist, polyamorous, epicurean hedonist. He studied history and philosophy at university. He enjoys cinema and computer games. 

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This is us. Hello!

We’ve been married for a decade and we have one child. We both grew up in Surrey but we’ve lived in Cardiff for the past 8 years or so. 

If you are unfamiliar with any of the terms above, you can either make use of Google or just wait – they’re bound to come up in later posts and podcasts.

So that’s who we are and what we’re planning to talk about. I hope you decide to stick around. We’re planning to publish another post next Sunday so look out for that! Posts won’t usually be weekly, more likely fortnightly. Oh and here’s a link to our accompanying podcast – enjoy!

Until next time, goodbye.